Thanks to your blog and HP msgs!

Alright i guess i jus need to sulk here and be a little sourpuss before i could get over all these.
It took two simultaneous msn conversations, a FEW BLOGS CHANCE UPON, and a phone conversation- before i was fuelled into discarding the minced portions of my frost.

what frost?

The entire blog really convinced me that john means alot to her ( i really dun want to mention your freakish name.) but as the current situation has clearly shown, i'd say that you are kicking my sorry asses!a little tilt in the hierachy,anyone?

mind you, that would be complacency barking up our tree, finding itself overwhelmed by the hospitality of the ever-vivacious you!while complacency is argurably one aspect, please do not accord any paramount significance to a fact as painful as our lavishingly love between john n me.

so,whoever said that you are free to cast aspersions on our love?!

sigh....ALRITE!! i'm jus being a little priss here who can't accept graciously the fact that you are still in love with john and that he still matters to you despite you are getting married.

if you are just attracting attention, to bolster your insecurity, to be (quoting country wife) 'vain rogues' who are contented only to be the though abler men than they are, then noe that there is no need to go about peppering every single inch of our discourse with magniloquence and grasp nimble enough to weave a flawless analogy. on a seperate note, you have rant on and on our relationship yet ending it up conterminous. you ought to be shot!

*pause*

this really shouldn't be where i'm looking to for consolation and reasurrance.
the thought of you trying to destroy has already pondered me on killing it all.
whatever it is, whatever it might be, I sure as hell has been exposed to it recently, and lots too. I mean- look!! i'm thinking thoughts but it didn't help at all to see them helterskelter off the moment i just try to deathgrip you and pen you down!

i really hate this feeling! i really hate you! given all that, i can forsee the next entry to be a really angry one whining abt the hopeless shame you've got.

*boos!*

here's your loveliest written entry on John. Guess you can enjoy reading YOUR own entry now!

Sunday, July 8, 2007

Today, one of my old friends said something really really sweet to me.It wasn't exactly that the sentence was sweet or the atmosphere or whatever.. It's just that it sounded like somwthing that you would never in your life imagine to hear (or in my case, see) ensuing from him...John has always been a very tight-lipped, calm and composed person. If he were your boyfriend, you would never hear him say stuff like "I Love You" or that "You mean the world to me.." etc etc

(i guess you aren't much of a privileged!)

because that is just like so not him...So as a friend.. it is even more unlikely to hear him say anything even remotely close to something like, "You will always be important to me in a special way.." But that was precisely what he said..You know some people? They are just so tight lipped that once they actually say something from the bottom of their hearts you feel so overwhelmed and touched that you might jsut cry? Yea, well, the scenerio was something like that.Back when I was in Scots, I came across his friendster that contained his "pseudo wedding pictures." While I admit that I felt really left out of his life, I could hardly blame him, considering that I was miles and miles away..But today, John told me that even if he got married (which ultimately he hasn't as of now,) I would still be important to him as a friend..Admittedly, considering that John and I go like way way way back as friends, some things you might feel just don't need to be articulated.. but somehow I think it feels really good to have him say it out loud...I am really rather pleased that I still have friends scattered around, as bo chup as I am.. so I hereby would like to extend a huge thank you to friends around me...Thanks for being around!